Norma's House

Car Chase

 [INSTRUMENTAL]

JOE (spoken):

What a lovely sight, at the end of the driveway - a great, big, empty garage.

Hmph.

This thing must burn up 10 gallons to a mile.

At the House on Sunset 

JOE:

Christ, where am I?

I had landed

In the garden of some palazzo

Like an abandoned movie set

(spoken)

NORMA:

You there! Why are you so late?

MAX:

This way

JOE:

Hey look, buddy, I just pulled my car -

MAX:

- And wipe your feet!

NORMA:

Max! Tell him to wait!

MAX:

You heard. If you need my help with the coffin, call me

JOE:

Hey, wait a minute! Hey, buddy -

NORMA:

Any laws against burying him in the garden?

JOE:

I wouldn't know

NORMA:

I don't care anyway

Surrender

NORMA:

No more wars to fight

White flags fly tonight

You are out of danger now

Battlefield is still

Wild poppies on the hill

Peace can only come when you surrender

Here the tracers fly

Lighting up the sky

But I'll fight unto the end

Let them send their armies

I will never bend

I won't see you now till I surrender

I'll see you again when I surrender

(spoken)

Now, don't you give me a fancy price just because I'm rich

JOE:

Look, lady, you've got the wrong man. I had some trouble with my car, I just pulled into your driveway

NORMA:

Get out

JOE:

O.K. I'm sorry you lost your friend

NORMA:

Get out of here

JOE:

Haven't I seen you somewhere before?

NORMA:

Or shall I call my servant?

JOE:

Aren't you Norma Desmond? You used to be in pictures. You used to be big

NORMA:

I am big. It's the pictures that got small

(sung)

Once upon a time not long ago

The head of any studio

Knew how and when to play his aces

Now they put some talentless unknown

Beneath their sacred microphone

We didn't need words

We had faces

Yes, they took all the idols and smashed them

The Fairbanks, the Gilberts, the Valentinos

They trampled on what was divine

They threw away the gold of silence

When all they needed was this face of mine

JOE (spoken):

Hey! Don't blame me. I'm just a writer

With One Look 

NORMA:

With one look, I can break your heart

With one look, I play every part

I can make your sad heart sing

With one look you'll know, all you need to know

With one smile, I'm the girl next door

Or the love that you've hungered for

When I speak it's with my soul

I can play any role

No words can tell

The stories my eyes tell

Watch me when I frown

You can't write that down

You know, I'm right

It's there in black and white

When I look your way

You'll hear what I say

Yes, with one look, I put words to shame

Just one look sets the screen aflame

Silent music starts to play

One tear from my eye makes the whole world cry

With one look they'll forgive the past

They'll rejoice, I've returned at last

To my people in the dark

Still out there in the dark

Silent music starts to play

With one look you'll know, all you need to know

With one look, I'll ignite a blaze

I'll return to my glory days

They'll say

Norma's back at last

This time I'm staying

I'm staying for good, I'll be back

Where I was born to be

With one look, I'll be me!

Salome

(spoken)

NORMA:

Now go

JOE:

Next time I'll bring my autograph album

NORMA:

Just a minute, you. Did you say you were a writer?

JOE:

That's what it says on my guild card

NORMA:

And you've written pictures?

JOE:

Sure have. Would you like to see my credits?

NORMA:

Come over here. I want to ask you something. Just what sort of length is a movie script these days?

JOE:

Depends

NORMA:

I wrote this. It's a very important picture

JOE:

Look like six very important pictures

NORMA:

It's for DeMille to direct

JOE:

Oh, yeah? And will you be in it?

NORMA:

Of course. What do you think?

JOE:

Just asking. I didn't know you were planning a comeback

NORMA:

I hate that word. It's a return

JOE:

Well...fair enough

NORMA:

I want you to read it

JOE:

You shouldn't let another writer read your stuff. He may steal it

NORMA:

I'm not afraid. Sit down. Max! Bring something to drink

MAX:

Yes, Madame

NORMA:

I said sit down! It's about Salome. Salome - the story of a woman. The woman who was all women

(sung)

Salome, what a woman, what a part!

Innocent body and a sinful heart

Inflaming Herod's lust

But secretly loving a holy man

No one could play her like I can

JOE:

Well, I had nothing urgent coming up

I thought I might as well skim it

It's fun to see how bad bad writing can be

This promised to go to the limit

NORMA:

There's so many great scenes, I can't wait

A boiling cauldron of love and hate

She toys with Herod

'Til he's putty in her hands

He reels tormented through the desert sands

JOE:

It sure was a real cheery set-up

The wind wheezing through that organ

Max shuffling around and a dead ape dumped on a shelf

And her staring like a Gorgon

NORMA:

They drag the Baptist up from the jails

She dances the dance of the seven veils

Herod says "I'll give you anything"

JOE:

Now it was time for some comedy relief

The guy with the baby casket

Must have seen a thing or two, that chimp

Shame it was too late to ask it

NORMA:

Have you got to the scene where she asks for his head?

If she can't have him living

She'll take him dead

They bring in his head on a silver tray

She kisses his mouth - it's a great screenplay!

JOE:

It got to be eleven, I was feeling ill

What the hell was I doing?

Melodrama and sweet champagne

And a garbled plot from a scrambled brain

But I had my own plot brewing

(spoken)

Just how old is Salome?

NORMA (sung):

Sixteen

JOE (spoken):

I see

NORMA (sung):

Well?

JOE (spoken):

It's fascinating

NORMA (sung):

Of course it is

JOE:

Could be it's a little long

Maybe the opening's wrong

But it's extremely good for a beginner

NORMA:

No, it's a perfect start

I wrote that with my heart

The river-bank, the baptist, and the sinner

JOE:

Shouldn't there be some dialogue?

NORMA:

I can say anything I want with my eyes

JOE:

It could use a few cuts

NORMA:

I will not have it butchered!

JOE:

I'm not talking limb from limb

I just mean a little trim

All you need is someone who can edit

NORMA:

I want someone with a knack

Not just any studio hack

And don't think for a moment I'd share credit!

(spoken)

When were you born?

JOE:

December 21st, why?

NORMA:

I like Sagittarians. You can trust them

JOE:

Thanks

NORMA:

I want you to do this work

JOE:

Me? Gee, I don't know, I'm busy. I just finished one script and I'm about to start a new assignment

NORMA:

I don't care

JOE:

I'm pretty expensive. I get five hundred a week

NORMA:

Don't you worry about money. I'll make it worth your while

JOE:

Well, it's getting kind of late

NORMA:

Are you married, Mr. -

JOE:

The name is Gillis. Single

NORMA:

Where do you live?

JOE:

Hollywood. Alto Nido Apartments

NORMA:

You'll stay here

JOE:

I'll come back early tomorrow

NORMA:

Nonsense, there's a room over the garage. Max will take you there. Max!

MAX:

Yes, Madame

NORMA:

Take Mr. Gillis to the guest room. We'll begin at nine sharp

JOE:

Now this is more like it

MAX:

I made up the bed this afternoon

JOE:

Thanks. How did you know I was going to stay?

MAX:

There's soap and a toothbrush in the bathroom

JOE:

She's quite a character, isn't she, that Norma Desmond?

The Greatest Star of All

MAX:

Once, you won't remember

If you said Hollywood

Hers was the face you'd think of

Her face on every billboard

In just a single week

She'd get ten thousand letters

Men would offer

Fortunes for a bloom from her corsage

Or a few strands of her hair

Today, she's half-forgotten

But it's the pictures that got small

She is the greatest star of all

Then, you can't imagine

How fans would sacrifice themselves to touch her shadow

There was a maharajah

Who hanged himself with one of her discarded stockings

She's immortal

Caught inside that flickering light beam

Is a youth which cannot fade

Madame's a living legend

I've seen so many idols fall

She is the greatest star of all

JOE:

When he'd gone, I stood looking out the window for a while.

There was the ghost of a tennis court with faded markings and a sagging net.

There was an empty pool where Clara Bow and Fatty Arbuckle must have swum 10,000 midnights ago.

And then there was something else: the chimp's last rites, as if she were laying a child to rest.

Was her life really as empty as that?

[sound of NORMA sobbing]