In the Bar

Every Movie's a Circus (Reprise)

ALL:

Every movie's a circus

On the wire without a net

JOANNA:

Coffee?

MYRON:

I'm up too early

Shooting at seven

I gotta go

ALL:

Movies

BOY:

What's wrong?

GIRL:

Can't get a screen test

Don't you hate it

When a yes-man says no?

ALL:

Movies

GIRL:

Good part?

BOY:

I'm a policeman

"Hands up, punk!"

That's all I say

ACTOR:

First time you've worked on the lot there

ACTRESS:

I must say R.K.O. are O.K

ALL:

Movies

BOY:

Then what?

GIRL:

He pressed a button

Out of the wall

Fell a four-poster bed

ALL:

Movies

MYRON:

Busy?

JOANNA:

They shot my screenplay

MYRON:

Isn't that great?

JOANNA:

No, they shot the thing dead

ALL:

Every movie's a circus

On the wire without a net

BOY:

Lonely?

GIRL:

That's how I like it

BOY:

Can't you be nice?

GIRL:

Why? We're not on the set

ALL:

Movies

ARTIE:

Hey, Joe

What are you, slumming?

JOE:

Here for a meeting

ARTIE:

This time of night?

ALL:

Movies

JOE:

Yeah, it's some studio smartass

You know I'm famous for being polite

ALL:

Movies

ARTIE:

Guess what?

I'm getting married

JOE:

Congratulations

ARTIE:

She'll be right back

ALL:

Movies

ARTIE:

Fact is, we were just leaving

She's been stood up by some uppity hack

ALL:

Movies

JOE:

Married. Who would have thought it?

Why don't you look happy?

Come on, be brave

ALL:

Movies

ARTIE:

It's this movie I'm shooting

JOE:

You first assistant?

ARTIE:

More like a slave

ALL:

Every movie's a circus

ARTIE:

But this is a circus movie as well

Problems, nothing but problems

Animals, actors

Two kinds of hell

ALL:

Every movie's a circus

On the wire without a net

BETTY:

Well hello, Mr. Gillis

ARTIE:

You two have met?

JOE:

I'm the uppity hack

ARTIE:

And she's the studio smartass

BETTY:

What's going on here?

BARMAN:

Artie, they're calling you back

BETTY:

I just reread "Blind Windows"

It needs some real re-working, of course

If we fixed up the opening

ARTIE:

Call up the wrangler

Pay off the horse

Girl Meets Boy

JOE:

Girl meets boy

That's a safe beginning

BETTY:

It's nearly closing

I thought you weren't going to show

JOE:

So did I

I felt it might be kinder

BETTY:

What are you saying?

JOE:

Come on, Miss Schaefer, you know

BETTY:

What?

JOE:

Every time I see some young kid

Dreaming they'll produce a masterpiece

I just want to throw them on the next train home

BETTY:

Never thought

You'd be so condescending

JOE:

Sorry, Miss Schaefer

I didn't come here to fight

BETTY:

Girl meets boy

If that's how you want it

She's a young teacher

He's a reporter

It's hate at first sight

JOE:

It won't sell

These days they want glamour

Fabulous heiress meets handsome Hollywood heel

The problem is

She thinks he's a burglar

Would you believe it?

A wedding in the last reel

BETTY:

It doesn't have to be so mindless

You should write from your experience

Give us something really moving;

Something true

JOE:

Who wants true?

Who the hell wants moving?

Moving means starving

And true means holes in your shoe

BETTY:

No, you're wrong

They still make good pictures

Stick to your story

It's a good story

JOE:

O.K., Miss Schaefer

I give it to you

(sung)

BETTY:

What do you mean?

JOE:

Just what I said. I've given up writing myself. So you write it

BETTY:

Oh, I'm not good enough to do it on my own

But I thought we could write it together

JOE:

I can't. I'm all tied up

BETTY:

Couldn't we work evenings? Six o'clock in the morning? I'd come to your place

JOE:

Look, Betty, it can't be done. It's out

Let's keep in touch through Artie

That way if you get stuck, we can at least talk

(sung)

JOE:

Write this down

I'll give you some ground rules

Plenty of conflict

But nice guys don't break the law

Girl meets boy

She gives herself completely

And though she loves him

JOE & BETTY:

She keeps one foot on the floor

BETTY:

No one dies except the best friend

No one ever mentions communists

No one takes a black friend to a restaurant

JOE:

Very good

Nothing I can teach you

We could have had fun

Fighting the studio

BETTY:

Yes, Mr. Gillis

That's just what I want

ARTIE:

What a nightmare

Good to see you

Come to my New Year's party

JOE:

Last year it got out of hand

ARTIE:

Guaranteed bad behavior

JOE:

See you then

BETTY:

Don't give up

You're too good

JOE (spoken):

Thanks